10 Secrets When Approaching & Attracting Opposite Sex

The typical story: boy meets girl or vice-versa, and the chemistry is explosive. Their eyes locked on each other, their hearts beats faster, and everyone else in the room just fades away. But far from being some weird, mystical force, sexual attraction is actually quite prosaic.

It’s the result of millions of years of evolution all focused on one idea: successfully passing your genes on to the next generation. And the entire dating scene is really just people trying to assess the reproductive potential of potential mates.

Humans have evolved a lot of ways to present their reproductive value; from chiseled jaws and permanently enlarged mammary glands, to diverse odors and a rasping sense of humor. The right mishmash of these features in the right person add together to give you that quaint feeling in your stomach we hear so much about. Butterflies anyone?

So why not take advantage of science to get ahead and lead the way? In purely biological conditions, men are searching for reproductively fit women to produce healthy progeny carrying their genes. Women want men with good genes to pass on to their babies, and a loving mate who will protect and feed the family.

Let’s try breaking down the science of the myriad cues humans depend on to gauge these qualities, so you can use what you’ll learn to give yourself a bigger chance next time you’re at the bar being scoped out for ‘optimal mating qualities.

1) Flaunt Your Fragrance (responsibly)

Our noses are delicately attuned to the smells of potential mates, and our natural body odors carry potent messages of attraction. So don’t be afraid of your own fragrance. All the same, don’t throw out the deodorant and run around to perspire just to intensify your natural funk, either; weak odors are more appealing than strong ones, and many odor molecules only have a very brief lifespan before they oxidize and become particularly nasty.

Although women are more sensitive, both males and females are attuned to the aromas of love. Modern research also remarkably indicates men and women confronted by well-formed, equally proportioned people will react more favorably to their scent, as long as it’s not particularly whiffy.

Moreover, this means that there is no single ‘irresistible’ male scent, because a key factor of what a woman finds attractive in a man’s body odor verily depends on what kind of genes she herself has.

Ever tried  a Love-Scent perfume or cologne?

2) Maximize your fitness

Both men and women are genetically hardwired to try to find physically attractive partners. Why? Physical cues are an immediate and relatively accurate method of assessing the quality of a potential partner’s genes, health and reproductive status. Some aspects of attraction are in general, so if you’ve got assets, flaunt them, and if you don’t, work on them or work on disguising that fact.

It’s a well-known occurrence that, for humans, symmetry equals beauty, particularly when it comes to faces. So please, try no to shave an eyebrow or grow a mustache on just one side.

Most if not all women favor men with broad shoulders tapering to slim hips. Clearly the triangular physique is a definite indicator of strength and athleticism, which are significant attributes for providing and protecting a family in the hunter-gatherer societies in which we evolved.

Men are looking for good reproductive potential. This means that for the ladies, the manifestation of youth with a clear complexion are good signs of fertility, and so are healthy curves. A good waist-to-hip ratio – distinctively, a waist about 70 percent the width of a woman’s hips – is an indication of youth and good health.

3) Tune in to natural rhythms

In accordance with conventional knowledge, we found out that men are pretty much attracted to similar things almost all the time. However, the guys need to be aware of the fact that what turns a woman on can change significantly depending at what stage she is in her menstrual cycle.

When seen through the lens of evolution, this makes absolute sense. Women ovulate only once a month, so their bodies are tuned to be most responsive to the signs of prospective mates – sexy faces, well-formed bodies and appealing odors – at the time when there is potential for them to fall pregnant.

For men, it’s worth knowing that a woman’s desire to look for another companion or to cheat on her partner can also increase while she’s ovulating. In the evolutionary sense, a woman subconsciously wants to find the best possible genes in her mate for her future. However, when there is no possibility of conception a woman has nothing to gain by “shopping for good genes,” especially if in doing so she risks losing a caring – if not so attractive – partner. This is only applicable to women who aren’t using any contraceptive pill, which disrupts these natural cycles.

4) Socially lubricate

Science backs up the general perception that alcohol does tend to make things happen that otherwise, on a normal basis might not. And this applies for both males and females. Alcohol interrupts the function of the frontal lobe, which is the one in control of inhibitions. So we don’t have anything hindering our limbic system, which is the other part of the brain responsible for fun and mayhem.

Be careful of flirting when drunk, as your judgment may be clouded. There are some things that you will do when you’re drunk that you would not really do when you’re sober. ‘The ‘beer goggles’ effect, in which people in a pub or bar seem to get more attractive the more and more beer you drink, is very well documented. Studies also show that alcohol intake can increase the chances of people engaging in casual sex, or sex outside a long-term relationship when intoxicated. But even though being intoxicated may increase your chances of getting laid, you must remember that it has it’s own considerable consequences. 

5) Bring on the laughs

One great way to show off your intelligence and social skills is to execute a carefully timed and well-mannered joke. Both males and females can be charmed by the humor of a potential partner, but in opposite ways. Research indicates that women are more apt to appreciate men with a high-quality sense of humor, while men are more anxious in finding a partner who will laugh at their jokes.
 
Humor provides a variety of information about a man – it indicates that he is intelligent, good at perspective talking, and has the social skills and vigor to pull it off, but whatever the reason, studies evidently show that when faced with two men of equal physical attractiveness, a woman will more often than not prefer the more humorous potential mate.

6) Get some escorts

If you’re a guy who has some good-looking female friends, have them tag along when ever you’re going out, for it is always good to be seen around beautiful ladies. Research shows that women tend to be fascinated by men who other women find attractive. It’s the same thing that shows that men ignored by females when they’re single, but deluged with attention from the opposite sex as soon as they have a girlfriend. When you come right down to it, it implies that other women have assessed that man.

There are also evolutionary reasons for this imitable behavior. Women are looking not only for a guy with excellent genes, but also one who can provide for a family, so women also have to pay attention to inner qualities when choosing a lifelong mate.

Knowing a guy’s inner qualities can take a great amount of time and immense effor, therefore getting her cues from what other women find attractive can aid her task greatly.

This, however, is mostly effective when those who have pre-screened the man are attractive themselves. There is even a saying that says, “if she’s beautiful and she’s with him, then there’s definitely something about him.”

7) Bring on the “BLING”

As popular music videos show, driving a flashy cars or having a mansion can really be magnetic to hot chicks.

In the distant Stone Age past, it is believed that children were more likely to survive with having a father around, a father who could protect the family from any attack and bring home a lot of food to feed his family. A physically vigorous, socially dominant man was often more triumphant at this – and so women who unified with these men succeeded in having more offspring than those women who chose lower-status mates. Those offspring then inherited their mother’s preferences, and integrated those ideas into their own, knowing now what makes the perfect man, have survived through out the ages to today.

The difference is that now, being a good provider doesn’t mean that you have to go out the forest armed with some bow and arrows to hunt some deer. It means having high status, and the wealth and symbols that go along with it. This is also one of the causes why women sometimes have a preference for older men because they often have higher status.

So how are you supposed to take advantage of this quirk of evolution? If you have money, or you were just born into a family of power, then strut your stuff. But if not, then there’s no harm in having a couple of friends to build you up and laugh at your jokes when you’re trying to pick-up.

9) Talk with your body

Guys, even with out talking or even looking at a girl, you can still say a lot to her even from across the room.  Research indicates that women look for qualities in men that signify that they can provide well for them. This consists of high social status, intellect and prominent wealth. And there are a lot of ways of showing off these characteristics without even uttering a single word.

For example, dominant men do more physical contact than those submissive ones. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they go on about cuddling with their peers, but it is evident in lots of good-humored punches or shoves. So head to the bar or pub with friends you can sock, and it is better if they’re the type of friends who won’t hit you back.
Physical presence is also important. Dominant men are inclined to take up more space than others. To convey your status, try stretching out your arms, putting your feet up on a chair or tell with your friends to give you a bit of room.

Finally, be open and friendly. Closed body positions, such as crossing your arms or legs, covering your body or even hiding your palms and eyes can be an indicator of low social status.

Body Language Tip for both sexes: Don’t chew on gum or ice, or bite your fingernails. The action of chewing actually denotes anxiety or frustration, neither of which are very attractive emotions.

10) Get dolled up

It might seem a bit shallow and superficial, but it’s efficient. Looking presentable, and being well groomed can drastically change how people react to you, particularly if you’re a woman.

There have been studies that analyze the effects of cosmetics use on social perceptions of women. It is said that observers of both sexes find the same woman appear healthier and more confident when observed wearing make-up than without. According to the observer’s attractiveness ratings, eye make-up and foundation seem to be the most effective in improving one’s looks. The scientific basis for the efficiency of cosmetics is unconfirmed, but it is a well-known fact that they allow women to even out skin tone, conceal blemishes and shape more symmetrical faces.

Although untested, another possibility is that cosmetics function as ‘signal amplifiers’ that means the cosmetics imitate the physiological changes, such as blushing and widened pupils, that transpire when a woman comes across an attractive man.  This effect of flattery by making the guy feel desirable also increases the woman’s own attractiveness in the guy’s point of view.

In general, dressing in a sexy outfit to seduce is easy, but on the other hand, men would want to have a long-term relationship with a woman who appears to be chaste. This is because in all likelihood, chaste women are less likely to cheat on their partners.
Here are some tips and tricks on attracting the opposite sex:

   Be the center of attention

If you want to get noticed, stand in the core of the room. According to studies, where you are in a room and what you’re doing has a lot to do with your capability to catch the attention of the opposite sex. The highest impact and the greatest number of attracted people should be right smack-dab in the center of the room, standing up and moving here and there a bit, (but please don’t be pacing a track on the carpet or you’ll definitely look stupid).

If you’re in a pub or a club, the corners on the bar is the best place to be. There you will be able to meet more people, and according to recent studies, bartenders have the tendency to drift toward the corners as well. On the other hand, the worst place to be spotted is hanging out near the walls or sitting at a table alone. The chances of a hot stranger approaching your table and asking, “can I join you” are next to none. C’mon, that only happens in the movies.

The Color Lure
According to some studies, there are colors for your every mood and those colors really mean something. It has been stated that women are attracted to men wearing the color blue, because men who frequently wear blue are faithful, constant, stable. The “blue” guy is a superb candidate for a long-term relationship, someone who is monogamous and dependable.

As for the ladies, it is stated that women should wear a shade or pink – peach to make themselves amicable. It is because that color is very flattering to most skin tones; it kind of gives you a healthy glow and a little vulnerability that brings out the protective instinct in most men. The ladies can also try wearing red, burgundy or plum, as it has the tendency to display that you are a strong individual, and men who can’t handle strong women will definitely stay clear of you, thus weeding out guys you don’t like.

Out of all the colors there are, the color red is the most sensual. But be wary when wearing it for it is the color of “sex and power” it has the ability to attract two kinds of men: those who are interested in sex, and those who are interested in powerful women.  With this, you will probably have to drive away a lot of freaks, but at the same time, you can also bag that one special guy who isn’t fazed by the fact that you’re earning a bigger salary.

If you are concerned with clothing that is goading people away, then you should stay away from what is called the “caterpillar yellow-green” which is said to repulse both sexes.
The power of a smile
Psychology and body language experts are in agreement that one of the most significant things you can do to make yourself more attractive (and approachable) is to smile.  Not a big plastic game-show smile, just your normal “I’m having fun and I’m happy to be here” smile will do the trick.  Be sure that you’re not smirking. Remember, the smile is the international signal of friendliness.
Tempting with a scent
Studies indicate the men correlate the scents of cinnamon and vanilla with love. To make it work for you, try baking some ready-made cinnamon rolls sometime before your date arrives or you could also wear a vanilla scented perfume/cologne.

Aromatherapy experts believe cinnamon to be an aphrodisiac and according to herb experts, certain aromatic plants emanate oils similar to human sexual secretions and pheromones, therefore wearing cinnamon/vanilla blends can amplify the presence of that pheromone like substances and considerably increase attraction.

As for the women, according to a recent study, they are attracted to a black licorice scent.  So guys, be sure to get some licorice at the snack bar or a candy store and if you’re at a bar, don’t worry if you spill some Jaggermeister on your shirt, you never know when a woman whiffs you by.
Click here to try out a Love-scent

Walk the walk
You may not believe this, but the way you walk and hold yourself can say a lot more about you than your mouth ever could. When walking, you should take your time, but not too much – like taking one step every 30 seconds – Just be smooth and have nimble movements. Keep your back straight, chest out, shoulders thrown back, and raise your head a little, showing you have an air of confidence. Just by doing these simple things can instantaneously make you feel better about yourself.

Improve yourself
No matter how perfect you may seem to think you are, everyone needs some improvement, one way or another. It may be in your lifestyle or in your appearance but no matter what it is, you have to start now. Pick one thing that you don’t like about yourself, then dedicate the next 30 days into fixing that problem or enhancing it. If you’re overweight then it’s about time you hit the gym to burn some of that fat. If you’re really hairy, try getting a wax.

With each new thing that you improve, try to make it into a lifelong thing. In 6 months or so you’d have gone a major change in your life, a change for the better. Your attractiveness and confidence will be in an all time high.

Go out to have fun
Never go out for the sole purpose of attracting the opposite sex. Don’t focus on it too much. Go out to have fun, and do it for yourself. This way, trying to attract other people will be more natural and less stressful. Besides, if ever you mesmerized no one then at least you had fun that night.

One good example would be that you went out one night, let’s say at a local bar. You wanted to attract some women, so you put on your best clothes and hit the bar. You were so focused on picking up women and that’s all you set your mind on. What if, for all your efforts no one was interested in you? Then you would be really upset about it. Well, like everybody else, everyone has their good days and their bad days, and sometimes no matter what you do, if it isn’t your day then it really isn’t. Now, looking at it in a different way, if you go out, and you go out to have fun, for yourself and not for others then no matter what happens, then at the very least you had fun, and if someone was impressed by your efforts and charm then all the better.

Be Congruent

With attracting the opposite sex don’t ever try to be someone that you’re not. If it’s not you and you’re not comfortable in it then by all means, don’t do it. A strong personal identity is a crucial factor in getting others to like you because no one likes a copycat.

For instance, you were watching the TV then you saw Brad Pitt was sporting a long blonde hair with a ruff goatee and he looks smoking hot. After seeing that, you thought to yourself, “hey, looking like that might make me more attractive to girls”, so for the next few days you concentrate on growing your beard and dying your hair blonde. After throwing your razor away and a bottle of peroxide you go to the mirror anxiously waiting to see your new look, but wait, you forgot one thing – you’re Asian.

Instead of trying to be someone else, try to focus on yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses. Concentrate on your strengths and try to improve your weaknesses. It’s not that you shouldn’t copy someone else to make yourself better, just be sure that it suits you and you can bring it. Do what feels natural, what feels good.

Increase the intrigue factor

By finding an unusual interest, you can be more intriguing to other people. Hobbies such as sky diving, collecting Japanese art; or traveling to exotic places, or becoming knowledgeable in a sport can make you more interesting.

For example, if you were to meet someone new and he/she tells you that he/she works in a factory and likes to go to the mall on the weekends – pretty boring, no matter how nice they seem to be. Then again what if that someone tells you that even though he/she works in a factory, he/she likes to go scuba diving on the weekends and has an extensive collection of ancient Mayan treasures – now isn’t that really intriguing? That’s the kind of someone that people want to get to know more. Now, why don’t you go try and be that someone?

Don’t Get Lost In The Crowd

No guy would ever want to go through a group of girlfriends just to ask a woman out. A woman who is out with only one girlfriend or even better a woman by herself will attract more attention.

As for the guys, don’t just blend in; don’t be like the average Joe, because no girl would ever notice you. Try to be more loud and proud, especially if you’re hanging out with a couple of your buds.
Show self-sufficiency, with a pinch of vulnerability

If you’re sharing a drink with someone, offer to pick the tab, this shows that you are interested and you can take care of yourself. If a woman does this, the gesture implies that she is interested in equity. It displays the idea that she can take care of herself, she did so before having met you but would like to share herself with you, it also tells that you’re not getting a gold digger, not a daughter but a mate. If a man does this then it implies that she is not getting a son, but someone who can take care of her needs, but without saying I’m in control.  But be cautious, over-doing this by showing too much self-sufficiency can make the other person feeling useless.

Here are some tips on approaching a woman:

   Approach her no matter what
If you approach, you win, but if you don’t, then you’d have lost right away. Most guys are focusing too much on what’s going to happen, and are much too much concerned about how the conversation is going to be, and are already and thinking on how to walk away with a phone number before they’ve even said hello.  This is a really huge mistake.

You have to see it from a different point of view: as long as you approach and say something – anything at all – praise yourself the second you start the conversation – why? – Because you’re doing what other guys can only fantasize about. Once you’ve made this first verbal exchange, calm down and just enjoy the chat with her.

Ignore Your Excuses

One of the greatest ways to advance and initiate a conversation is to learn to disregard your own excuses: “She’s too pretty for me;” “She’ll think I’m a pervert;” “She’s busy, I don’t want to disturb her.” All these reasons come from the desire to stay in your comfort zone, and each one is completely unnecessary. All these excuses are just in your head stop thinking; move towards her and start talking. You’ll be happy that you did.

Screw-up Big Time
 
If you’re a perfectionist, try working on limiting your need to get everything right – remember, no one truly ever gets everything they want, especially when it comes to women. Never expect to have perfect interactions with women because it’ll put too much pressure on you, which in turn will make it harder for you to take action. Even if things do not go your way, be happy with yourself for taking the initiative.

Focus On How You’ll Feel If You Don’t Talk To Her

One of the reasons why a guy hesitates to talk to a girl is that he feels uncomfortable to take the plunge. Look at it this way: If you come up to her, it may be a little bit nerve wracking initially, but before you know it, the conversation is done. If you don’t talk to her, you’ll probably wish you had, and most likely you’ll be thinking about it for the rest of the day, going home full of regret. So, save yourself the misery and approach her.

   Don’t Put Undue Pressure On Yourself
  
One wrong practice that most guys have been doing is that when they catch sight of a woman they’d like to meet, they immediately imagine her as a would-be date, which creates different kinds of pressure.  Instead of doing so, you should look at the next woman you meet as a chance to hone your “skills.” This sort of mind set will help you become less anxious about the outcome, therefore making you more relaxed and at ease, and more likely to initiate the conversation.  By this you also increase the chances of it turning into a very enjoyable encounter for everyone concerned.

Use Fear As Your Signal To Approach

Remember that fear can be your ally. The next time you’re afraid to approach a woman and say something, use that fear to be a signal that you need to start the interaction right away. Using fear as a guide will allow you to move farther away from your comfort zone, become more confident thus resulting to meeting more women. And as the saying goes, “the more women you meet, the more your chances are of being successful.”

   Be Courageous And You’ll Become Confident
  
Most people define courage as having no fear, but in actuality the true definition of courage is “the ability to take action in the face of fear.”  A courageous man isn’t the one who doesn’t fear anything – it’s the one who can take the bull by the horns despite the fact that he is afraid. The next time you see an attractive woman that you want to talk to, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach, look at it as a challenge to have courage, and focus that fear into getting a conversation going. You never know, it might be the love of your life that you’re passing up the opportunity on because you are afraid.

Don’t Stereotype

There will come a time that you would get to meet a woman who’s going to be a little bit crabby when you approach her and try to start a conversation, but this is by no means a way for you to generalize women as a whole. Not all women are crabby, it’s always a case to case basis. Once you have approached a lot of women, then you will realize that not all women are the same and, in fact, most of them are quite friendly.

Make The Move

A simple yet very effective way to get unstuck is to stop trying to procrastinate by thinking on what to do or what to say. Instead of doing so, just walk in her direction, slowly and surely – you don’t want to be tripping over just because you were in such haste.  On the way over, you’ll naturally become aware of something that you can comment on to initiate the conversation – it doesn’t matter how simple it may seem to be. The key here is to get things going and in things will proceed from there.

Grab Every Opportunity To Talk To Women

Never miss out on an opportunity to talk to a woman for whatever reason there may be. As the saying goes, “seize the opportunities for it rarely knocks twice.” And as I said earlier, you never know when it might be the love of your life that you’re missing out on because you let the chance slip away.

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